no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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