I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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