then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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