It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
