It's Friday. Sex?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Drunk is not a location!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
