Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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