Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just pynch a tree in the face
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
