Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
