Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
