i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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