You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Someone signed my nipple.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
