nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
