When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
