NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am one with the molecules
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize