Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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