Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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