She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
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Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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