i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
