At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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