Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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