Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize