I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
