I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
