i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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