It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
