Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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