Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize