mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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