I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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