Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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