Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
