I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she peed on how many people?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Randomize
