I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
