So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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