Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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