New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
