i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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