Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
