Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
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He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
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I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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