halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
