i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
