I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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