I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
