Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
