Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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