i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
