I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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