drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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