i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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