pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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