At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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