last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
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8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
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