so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
