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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Which ones?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i'm watching the fashion show on bravo

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  you're cheating on project runway?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  if you can't score coke, you buy crack.

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• (415): View more from California

  I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?

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• (631): View more from New York

  I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

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• (631): View more from New York

  I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy

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• (310): View more from California

  Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I want to be your penis for a week.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Come here I'm naked

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  And I want mozzarella sticks

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• (631): View more from New York

  Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I need practice at oral sex

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  I own a practice facility.

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