i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
