Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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