if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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