Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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