bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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